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Mar

The Least of These

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I have confessed in the past my renewed vision of God’s Kingdom and how it requires my complete engagement, total commitment to the work of Christ here and now. But here’s my problem. I feel stuck. Stuck in a small world with small people. A world of diapers and messes, kid snot and chaos. My heart burns within me with a desire to plant seeds, cultivate beauty, build for the Kingdom. I try to put pen to paper to communicate my wakefulness to those around me but the words get stuck, they’re forced and clunky. I get an idea, a thought, a plan for creating and then it vanishes to the sound of “mom. mom. mom.” The tension and frustration drive me to drink… coffee. Drink coffee. Fuss flail, what? Whine wail, what? Scream squawk, WHAT? And in all of my thinking, I’m not thinking. In all of my seeking, I’m not seeing. In all my striving, I’m trampling pearls. The Kingdom belongs to such as these. What is my tedium is their foundation. What is my exhaustion is their lifeline. What is my small world is their universe. The Kingdom belongs to such as these. Any energy poured out is not wasted. I am building for the Kingdom of God. If I would wake up to the fact that God has called me to good work where I am today and take great joy in this realization the discouragement is forgotten. The impatience is done away with. The changed diapers and cleaned up messes, wiped away kid snot, and organized chaos are the seeds I’m planting. The trees I’m pruning. The beauty I’m building. The least of these.

 

2 Responses to "The Least of These"

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  1. Brea

    May 29, 2014 at 5:56 AM

    Beautifully said, and amen! I feel this same tension. A friend sent me one of your posts. I’m encouraged by your wrestlings as a mom, a believer, and an artist.

  2. jjacks

    July 5, 2014 at 11:09 PM

    Thank you for this post Vanessa. You have hit the nail on the head. Everyday I remind myself that my children are making memories. No matter what we do, the everyday is truly their universe. It is my obligation (and desire) as their mother to make every day as special as can be. Even in the most mundane circumstances. I continually remind myself that my Husband and I are their entire world. I recently re-discovered your blog…I wish you all the best in the future and welcome back to the Peace Country!

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