Self-Portraits of Motherhood V
Man, have I ever been stumped by this project. When I first began I had tons of ideas, seemingly endless inspiration. I thought it would be wicked easy planning something out once a month, but by the third month in my ideas all felt stale. Every idea was a derivative of something I had already done. I had lost all my freshness. The project wasn’t new anymore. Now it was just navel-gazing. During this desert phase I had been shooting with a Mamiya C330, shooting film for the first time since I was a teen. When I got the first scans back from this endeavour I was awakened. Even though the results were rough around the edges there was a spark that reignited my love for photography. I always expected this journey to be a roller coaster but I was thrilled to be moving out of the pit. I have no idea where this spark will take me but at least the joy has returned. The following shots were not incredibly inspiring when I first took them, but I used what I loved in my film shots as an inspiration for my post-processing. I sort of cringe at the thought that I will look back on these down the road, embarrassed at having manipulated them so much. I have clung to the mantra of simplicity for so long, made it the central point of my vision that I’m terrified of stepping away from it. Maybe I’m just redefining it.